Joseph Hexpack
Joseph Hexpack, or Joe, is a fresh candidate for the 1st Magistrate District position of Fayette County Constable.
"Here it is, my philosophy is basically this, and this is something that I live by, and I always have, and I always will: Don't ever, for any reason, do anything, to anyone, for any reason, ever, no matter what, no matter where, or who, or who you are with, or where you are going, or where you've been, ever, for any reason whatsoever."
My Mission
Freedom
As candidate for Constable, I feel it is my duty to let the people live their lives. Did you know that, on average, people spend 18 years as children? I know, mind boggling! I have done extensive research and found this to be a self evident truth. Based on that truth, I believe people shouldn't need someone watching over their backs all the time. America is about freedom, and I pledge to involve myself in your lives as little as possible.
Self-Reliance
We live in a time of dependency. Well my goal is to ween you of that need. Don't ask me for stuff. Don't complain to me. Don't beg for help. I'll save you some time and say, "I'm busy." Leave me alone. I have work to do.
Horse Thieves
Lexington has an epidemic. People are walking downtown with ice cream in their back pocket. They are stealing my horses, your horses... our good ol' Kentucky horses. I will not ask for help, since that is not my philosophy. I will bury my head in the sand, so to speak, and root this evil out. All other issues? Yeah, those are non-issues. Trust me. Elect Joe Hexpack, and I will purge this corruption.